Jelly Bean's Corner

Get Out of Here, Gergen!

I feel like I should document this dream to give Jelly Bean an idea of what's happening right now in our world -- given we've got two weeks to go!

With the repulsive Trump/Access Hollywood/Washington Post video leak on Friday, we have been watching a lot of cable news. MSNBC, CNN, a jaunt over to FOX News (to see if they're even covering the chaos), back to MSNBC, CNN, repeat. My good friend Rose, who's in town this weekend, joined us for several hours of viewing on Saturday. Where, during a CNN stop, she mentioned liking senior political analyst David Gergen.

In other non-related news this week (but important to the dream that I promise to get to), my wedding rings for the first time don't fit! Chubby knuckles (and ankles) have arrived. Not having my wedding rings on is an extremely unsettling feeling.

So here's the dream I had last night...

We are on a strange tropical vacation.

Steve decides that because my wedding rings don't fit, that he shouldn't wear his rings and that we should be on a break -- what???? 

Mind you, I am super pregnant.

So, Steve leaves me to find a skinny tropical Barbie doll.

I am left pregnant in a swimsuit hanging poolside with my two good friends Rose and Tintin...which sounds nice, right? Welp, then an old, disheveled man hits on me...

That man is...David Gergen. But it's not clean-shaved, respectable, suit-wearing David Gergen. It's gross, sweaty, vacation version of David Gergen.

He basically says to me all the horrific things that Trump was caught saying about women. That he wants to grab my 'you know what,' and kiss me and grope and basically have his way with me.

What??!

The best part is, I turn to Rose to be like..what the hell, Rose? And she says....why don't you want to sleep with him? He's very smart. 

What??? 

As bizarre as this is, I remember not wanting to hurt his feelings so I avoided responding to his "moving" on me.

I explained to Rose that if I'm going to give a man a shot, I am at least going to want to go to dinner and have a conversation.

PS (I did search the internet for "David Gergen" and "beach" to see if I could find a more realistic photo. As you probably guessed, nothing showed up).

The Final Countdown

Mental Preparation

Top Things We Learned at Our Hospital Tour

1. The hospital knows everyone steals their stuff (ie diapers, wipes, pacifiers, etc).  So, they ask that we at least be classy about it...and bring an extra bag.

2. Celebrities in NYC pay $2400 a night to secure a deluxe private suite. Suites include: private chef, plush robes, luxury towels, gift bag, fine bedding, wireless internet access, fully-stocked fridge, etc. It's JUST like a luxury hotel, except when you check out they give you a bill and another human being that you're now responsible for for the rest of your life. 

3. Jelly Bean will get LoJacked so no one takes her... including us. If we accidentally stroll down the wrong hallway...the entire hospital goes on lockdown. So there's about a 60% chance this will happen to us. 

4. Babies are born on the 6th floor. Unless you get stuck in the elevator on the way up.

5. After Jelly Bean is born it's 100% up to us how much or little time we want to spend with her. Which will be helpful if she turns out to be a jerk. 

6. If, for whatever reason, we want 30 people in the birth room, it's a-okay. That would be surprising and quite exciting though, since we don't know 30 people in the city. 

7. We can make the birth room a more comfortable environment with aromatherapy, Christmas lights, etc. But...no open flames. The fact that they had to say that out loud means this has been an issue in the past. 

Our Top Questions for Tonight's Hospital Tour

1) What's up with those private rooms? 

2) Do I share a room before and after delivery?

3) Do we provide outfits for Jelly Bean? How many do we need?

4) Do we stay with Jelly Bean the whole time, or will you take her away?

5) Can we hang Christmas lights? How do we do that?!

6) Do you have those fun bouncy balls? Peanut ball?

7) How many nights do I stay in the hospital?

8) When would you turn me away from the hospital? What if I show up too early?

9) Where do I actually give birth to the child? In my room? In the hallway? In an ER room???

10) How many visitors can be there prior to birth?  After?

11) Can my cute husband stay overnight?

12) What food is and is not allowed in the rooms?

13) Can we smuggle in wine?

Does This Count as Nesting?

Does it count as nesting if Steve is the one who wants to get organized?

Today we hit up The Container Store and had a very successful trip!

For the first tine, we can actually see our kitchen counter!... gotta make room for those bottles. And we're not talkin' wine bottles.

Target Defeated Me

With less than a month to go, the agenda for Saturday was to start packing our hospital bag. This led us on an adventure to Target. 

Normally going to Target would be a small piece of one day. At 37 weeks, taking a trip to Target was my entire day. 

Not only do I move at an incredibly slow pace, but everything is becoming more difficult.

I looked at Steve half-way through the visit and said, I need to find a chair.

So, I chilled in the furniture section with two elderly ladies and two breastfeeding moms. No shame! These are my new peeps.

After getting home I immediately napped. 

Damn, Target you destroyed me. And I didn't even buy anything fun!

The Final Countdown: 37 Weeks

Showered with Love in NYC

What a wonderful day! A surprise baby shower brunch at one of my favorite NYC restaurants, Lafayette.

Thank you Guerrieri/Ellashek/Holden ladies!!! Jelly Bean and her mama are lucky ladies! xoxo

It was the perfect day.

The Final Countdown: 35 Weeks

The Final Countdown: 34 Weeks

Jelly Bean: Ready for Soul Cycle?

Peddling. Peddling. Peddling.

It's as if Jelly Bean is bike riding inside my belly!

She loves a workout. Especially at 4 AM and 11:30 PM. I feel her little footsies at the top of my belly.

This bean is a future Soul Cycle enthusiast for sure!

That Crazy Talking Lady on the Streets of NYC -- Is Me!

There are a lot of crazy people in NYC.

At 34 weeks pregnant,  I have officially become one of them.

I have gotten used to talking to Jelly Bean in the privacy of our apartment and my office (usually when alone or with Steve around).

Now, I find myself walking down the street surrounded by total strangers, talking to Jelly Bean!.

"Jelly Bean, it's getting cold outside...which means you're coming soon!"

"Jelly Bean, it was a long day but you did a great job and we're almost home."

"Jelly Bean, that woman who pushed us to get onto the subway was not very nice, was she?"

"Jelly Bean, maybe if I sit on the corner with a cup we can start your college fund?"

Chairs Rule!

Last night my sister and I saw "Cats" on Broadway. 

Before the show started, usually I would be in the lounge enjoying a pre-show cocktail. 

This time, I enjoyed a glorious chair near the bathroom. And couldn't have been happier!

People Are Getting Nicer

My good friend Taryn (aka Tintin aka Cheeky), told me one of the greatest things about being pregnant is how nice people are. I didn't believe it...until this week.

1. A man on the street offered to help me hail a cab
2. After yoga class, a nice, older gentleman on his way out the door asked if I needed anything like water.
3. This week, two women got up and offered me their subway seats, saying "Oh I remember what it felt like!"

I could get use to this city.

If You Like Piña Coladas...

At 33 weeks, our Jelly Bean is the size of a pineapple this week!

Our 8-Hour-Long Childbirth Class

What We Learned:

#1 - Videos of women giving birth are horrifying
#2 - Videos of women given birth with the help of drugs are less horrifying
#3 - Classes like this lead you to believe you can give birth to a human being without any drugs!! "I'm a woman! I'm built to do this!!!"
#4 - We should try to stay at home for as long as possible before going to the hospital? Note: This one is still confusing and also will be the hardest to follow through on.
#5 - Big bouncy balls are helpful for women who are birthing. Other helpful things: baths, drugs, massages, water, sober husbands, drugs, yoga positions, twinkle lights, aroma-therapy, etc.
#6 - Being only a few blocks away, the teacher agreed that Steve and I could probably walk to the hospital. Note: we highly doubt this will happen but think it sounds super bad ass.
#7 - They no longer teach "who who who ha ha ha"-type breathing in lamaze class
#8 - No matter how slimy the baby looks upon arrival, skin-to-skin is apparently a big thing
#9 - There is a time and place for Steve's jokes but he should tread lightly during phase 2 of pregnancy
#10 - Steve does not know our due date. When introducing himself to the class, this pretty basic question tripped him up.

No Photos Please!

We were very much looking forward to our Friday ultrasound....but Jelly Bean apparently did not want her picture taken.

She's head down (which is good!)...and facing my back. So we only got to see her spine and back of her head. She's snug as a bug in a rug. I tried moving but she wouldn't budge.

They said her heartbeat and blood flow and everything looks good. They got all the pictures they needed but we didn't get the pics of her face that we wanted. 

Jelly Bean is between 4.5-4.8 lbs!! So this girl is plumping up!

Mama Stephanie is not drinking enough water. The fluid around was low. They did some extra monitoring and the heartbeat is fine. 

The doc said everything looks good....but I have to go back for another test and photos on Wednesday to make sure the fluid grows. So, this weekend will be all about drinking water nonstop.

She's Making Room!

A nautical bump at 32 weeks.

Stephen's 'Stranger Things'

The face he makes when seeing my belly bulge spontaneously, thanks to our Jelly Bean moving around.

A Well-Balanced Diet...Maybe?...Not So Much.

Tonight for dinner my little Jelly Bean enjoyed...

1. Half a burrito (a glorious leftover from this weekend!)

2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal

3. Watermelon

Am I ruining her life already?

31 Weeks: Getting Coco Loco!!

This week our little Jelly Bean is the size of a coconut!

30 Weeks: Activating the Protective Sheild

While navigating the NYC subway system this weekend, my sister asked me why I'm not protecting my bump???

Huh? Ohhhh. Shoot. I guess that's a pretty good idea!

To date, the bump has felt pretty sturdy but I suppose keeping sharp objects and smelly bums away from my protruding pouch wouldn't be a bad idea. 

This may fall into the category of motherly instincts, that Steve is hoping will automatically turn on soon. Does it still count if someone had to tell me to do it?

So, thank you, Julie! At 30-weeks it's time to activate my protective shield...which really means I will try to keep my arms up while out and about the streets of the Big Apple.

CPR Certified!

Since we know absolutely nothing about parenting, we thought...let's learn how to conquer the most horrific stuff first! So today we attended a child and adult CPR class at our local 92Y.

We learned how to save a choking infant, child and adult. Also, CPR on a tiny human, small human and large human. I had no idea what an AED defibrillator even was before this morning. Now, in case of an emergency, I know to ask and use one!

In attendance were other expecting parents and nannies. A very productive morning to say the least!

I would like to point out that I (Stephanie) scored a 100% on the CPR certification. Steve, not so much.

Steve Note: And by "Not so much" she means I only missed one! And it was a trick question!!

Our Cabbage Patch Kid!

Today Jelly Bean is 29 weeks and according to our app, the size of a small cabbage! In my mind, she's definitely a stuffed cabbage -- just like Grandma Keyes' speciality.

What perfect timing to enjoy a delicious brunch in Manhattan with Aunt Sue, Uncle Greg and Caroline! I love having family in town.

Thank you to the Hudson Keyes for treating Steve, Jelly Bean any myself to breakfast! So much fun catching up.

The Universe Is Trying to Tell Me Something

I swear the universe is doing everything it can to make me drink alcohol.

This week when ordering room service I asked for bread.

What shows up at my door?

Beer!!

                                        VS.

These are two very different things. The hotel staffer got quite a chuckle at the mistake.

Please go back downstairs and bring the pregnant lady her carbs. And get this dream of a beverage out of my face!!!

"It's Called Blowin' Kisses"

In preparation for the impending Jelly Bean, I (Steve) volunteered to paint the baby's...corner. At least if we're going to put Baby in the corner, she can enjoy my handiwork. Two coats later, we've got a very manly pink wall. And if it wasn't already clear that I'm about to be outnumbered by ladies, the name of the paint color...Blowin' Kisses.

Surprise! Baby Show at Work

I work with the absolutely best people in the whole world!

They threw me a surprise baby shower this week in Los Angeles! It was a full-out dance party to Justin Bieber's "Baby!"

Cupcakes and jelly beans and presents and lots and lots of laughs! I love them all! Thanks, guys!!

Next time I'm in Los Angeles to see them...I'll be a mom?! AH! Crazy!!

My Little Ultimate Fighter

It feels like my little jelly bean is kick box training. Instead of one sporadic punch or kick, nowadays it's a full-out battle round.

I like to giggle my belly in response to let her know, "nice work little one! you are strong and fierce!"

via GIPHY

Happiness Is...

...finding a pediatrician who makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! (Oh, how times are changing.)

After meeting this magical man, whose practice is right down the street, I felt like I had won the lottery. A trained professional with 35+ years experience who knows who to take care of my child??

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Battle of the Bumps!

Meet my colleague and friend Sopheap! She is due a week after me. It's bump-tastic at work!

Best-Ever Baby Bash!

It was such a treat celebrating our little jelly bean with so many of our favorite people in this world! A big thank you to EVERYONE -- especially to those who traveled to be with us.